The Demon King's Woes
The human king shifted uncomfortably in his chair, gripping the armrests a little tighter. Across the table, the Demon King took a long gulp of wine, his sharp claws tapping against the goblet as he set it down.
"One more cup? That's your fifth one," the human king muttered, glancing toward the door. His guards were standing at attention, though he could tell they were equally uneasy about the situation. A demon king, drunk in his throne room, lamenting his marriage? This was far from any diplomatic meeting he'd ever attended.
"Fifth? Hah!" the Demon King laughed, his deep, rumbling voice echoing through the chamber. "You humans... you measure everything. No wonder you're always stressed. Relax! I'm here on friendly terms, after all."
He reached for the bottle to pour himself another, but his hand hovered above it for a moment, and he leaned back, eyes narrowing as if deep in thought. His normally fearsome gaze softened just a little.
"You think it's easy, don’t you? Being the Demon King," he sighed. "Ruling the underworld, armies of darkness at my beck and call, endless power at my fingertips. But—" he jabbed a finger toward the human king, who flinched slightly— "You don’t know the half of it!"
The human king raised an eyebrow. "I imagine leading hordes of demons isn't exactly a simple task."
"Demons? Pfft, they're the least of my problems!" The Demon King waved a dismissive hand. "No, no, it's Lilith, my succubus wife. You think managing a kingdom is hard? Try managing her mood swings!" He groaned dramatically, sinking lower in his chair.
The human king suppressed a chuckle. The image of the fearsome Demon King being nagged by his wife was almost too much to take seriously, but he held his composure. "Surely it can't be that bad."
"Bad?" the Demon King scoffed, sitting up straight. "Let me paint you a picture, human. You're sitting on your throne after a long day of tormenting souls, and all you want is a moment of peace. But no, Lilith struts in, demanding to know why I haven't summoned fresh souls for her to seduce lately. Apparently, I’m not keeping things exciting enough for her."
The human king blinked, unsure how to respond. "I—uh, well, I suppose—"
"And that’s not even the worst of it!" The Demon King cut him off, clearly on a roll now. "Do you know what it’s like to wake up every morning and find she's re-arranged the entire palace? Nothing is ever where it should be. Hellfire torches where my banners should hang, forbidden grimoires left lying around like they’re some cheap novels!" He slumped over the table, burying his face in his hands.
"That sounds… challenging," the human king offered, unsure whether he was supposed to sympathize or be alarmed.
"And don't even get me started on the nightly feasts she insists on hosting," the Demon King grumbled, peeking through his fingers. "She invites every succubus, incubus, and lower demon in the realm. They drink, they flirt, they steal my things!" He sat up suddenly, his eyes wide. "Last week, one of them made off with my favorite war hammer. My favorite war hammer!"
The human king couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. "You’re telling me," he began between chuckles, "that the Demon King—the most feared entity in all the realms—can't handle his own wife and her... friends?"
The Demon King shot him a mock glare but then joined in the laughter, a deep, resonating sound that shook the very walls of the throne room.
"It's not just that," the Demon King continued after their laughter had died down. "You think I want to be stuck in the underworld forever? I'd give anything for a nice vacation. But Lilith? Oh no, she insists on 'decorating' every place we go with her... touch." He shuddered. "You ever tried to enjoy a tropical paradise with hellish mist everywhere and seductive demons crawling out of the sand? It's not relaxing."
The human king shook his head, still smiling. "It sounds like you’ve got quite the handful."
"More than a handful," the Demon King muttered, pouring himself another drink, this time sipping it more slowly. "But... I guess it could be worse."
"How so?"
"Well," the Demon King leaned back, thoughtful now. "At least Lilith keeps things... interesting. I can’t imagine being with someone boring. She’s fierce, clever, and... well, when she’s not trying to rearrange the furniture, she can be fun."
The human king raised his goblet in a mock toast. "To marriages that keep us on our toes, then."
The Demon King clinked his goblet against the human king's, a grin spreading across his sharp-toothed face. "To that, human. To that."
As the night wore on, the unlikely pair continued to share stories, the heavy weight of their respective crowns momentarily lifted by shared frustrations—and a surprising amount of wine.